Nevertheless, I Live

In order to live I must experience death.
In order to breath I must experience the loss of breath.
In order to serve I must live a life that is no longer my own.
In order to thrive I must realize that this place is no longer my home.

I was a fool
Dead inside
Carnal
Devoid of life
The power that I had been given
I dismissed in vain
Striving for something my flesh could never attain

The Crucified One, The Holy One of God, Mashiach, King, The Afflicted One
You bore the cross for my sins
Wholly submitted
Humbly committed
Never making a defense
The Yielded and Surrendered Son

Here I am, Lord
I beseech Thee My Master, come soon
Murder my flesh
I no longer want a life of my own

Doulos, Bondservant
Slave of the Most High
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the House of The Lord
Than to dwell with the wicked who struggle and strive
My life is no longer mine
I give up, Take it, It is Yours
I submit Lord,
I die to myself
So that I might live in You forevermore.

Death To Self

I willingly submit to You today Lord.
I willingly submit to Your plan for my life and the life of my family.
I willingly submit my husband and children to you.
I willingly submit our health, our spiritual well-being, our physical well-being, our emotional well-being, our finances, our home, our future, all of our possessions, Lord, they are Yours.
I was a fool to have ever believed that they were mine.
I am a fool for not willingly submitting to You, as you have beckoned my heart so many times.

Lord, take my life, it is yours for the taking.
Strip me, mold me, humble me, break me, crucify my flesh.
"I have been crucified with Christ," Paul proclaimed, but never have I.
I am a weak and lowly man,
Without brokenness, without shame.
You came into this world to save sinners, of who I am the chief.
There is nothing good inside of me apart from You.
I am full of pride, full of self, full of death.
I am tired of being who I am.
I am tired of being my own god.

And so it is Lord, I willingly submit to you today.
Let the world call me a fool.
I have decided to follow You and You alone.
Upon that Old Rugged Cross I place my life.
Nail it there Lord, and never allow me to take it back.
Nevertheless Lord, into Thy hands I commit my life.

Strangely Alienated

Strangely Alienated

For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; ²¹ who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to Himself. 

Philippians 3:20-21

I feel so uneasy and discontent with the things of this world. I find it quite disconcerting and uncomfortable to fellowship with unbelievers as of late. It feels like vanity at is ugliest. I find myself wanting to scream out in terror as King Solomon once did, "Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity." (Ecclesiastes 1:2) I often find myself desiring to find rest for my alienated soul in the Body of Christ and yet, even amongst the Brethren, I feel lost, out of place, almost as if I am a square peg trying to fit myself into a round hole. Christianity has become a language of sorts, a dress code, a way of which we speak of this magnificent God in such menial terminology. We speak about the things of God, never really getting to the heart of the matter, that is, God Himself. Never before have I felt such agonizing pain. The agonizing, constant, dull pain of being an alien in a place I thought I belonged to for 30+ years. It is as if the veil has been lifted and for the first time in my life I realize that the home I thought I once kept, the place in which my heart found rest and comfort, does not exist here on earth. It's the overwhelming hurt of one who realizes that the person who they once called their soul mate has no love or interest in them. The agonizing hurt of an abandoned soul.

Do not be confused, I realize that I am not, by any means, an abandoned soul. But as I write this the picture is growing ever so clearer. I have just realized that I have held onto this world my entire life, believing this is my home, taking up residence here, a place in which I believed accepted me and I in turn accepted it. And yet, the veil has been lifted, the scales have been removed from my eyes. And this world I once believed loved and honored me, in all actuality hates and despises me. The hate and disgust for me runs so deep that my very presence causes this world to curse my name. They turn their faces in hatred toward me at my existence. They say in their hearts, "I loathe you with an everlasting hatred. I loathe your very presence. I loathe the very sound of your voice." And yet, I must realize that it is, in fact, not me because they once loved me and I them. It is the very presence of the Living God residing in me that they loathe. The very existence of light amongst darkness that disgusts them. The presence of the Holy Spirit is a putrid aroma to those that have taken up residence in this world. To those that are not sojourners or aliens, but permanent residents.  I once was a quiet sojourner who turned my face to the sin around me. Who said, "Because it is not my sin it should not concern me." And yet, according to Romans 1:32, "...those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them." My living amongst the world, turning my face to others sins,  gave hearty approval to it and thus I too was worthy of the death they were already practicing. And now that the world has realized, only by the grace of God set before me, I now walk according to the statutes of the Lord rather than of man, it has caused a great divide. One that makes them blood thirsty for my very soul. "If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you." (John 15:8) It is nothing new. It is to be expected. I will lose friends, I will lose family, I will lose my own life, only to gain a new life. A life that cannot be described, a glorious, everlasting life. A life of freedom, a life of peace, an eternal life. This place is not my home. I am simply a sojourner here. An alien, passing through. The pain that I am feeling is not the pain of losing a home, it is the pain of realizing that I have been living in the wrong home for far too long. A home which kept me in bondage, a home which stole my freedom and made me a slave to the world. All the while never accepting the fact that I am not a slave to death, but I am actually part of  "A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God's OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." (1 Peter 2:9) My home is not on this earth. I am simply passing through on the way Home, the place that I have ignored for far too long. I have packed my bags and I am on my way Home now. Let the pain of familiarity melt away because what I have waiting for me is far too marvelous to ever look back at what I have left behind. Maranatha Lord, come quickly.

Watch and Pray

Watch and Pray

 

"My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up."

(Psalm 5:3)

He hears me. Jehovah, the self-existent, the self-sufficient God of this universe. This is the God who is attentive to my cry. Not merely in times of trouble, not merely in times of resolution, but continually. He hears every utterance, every groaning, every tearful plea, every thanksgiving, every praise, every utterance of rejoicing, every cry, every word, every moment of silence spent before Him.

Here, the Psalmist utters more than a prayer, but moreover, a resolution. A resolution, that without fail, his daily affections will first be made unto God. In order that he might let the Divine occupy the first place in his waking thoughts. "That which first occupies the mind on awaking is most likely to keep possession of the heart all the day through." (Clarke) It is that continual and effectual decision to put God first in our lives. To put away the Old Man and to suffer him dead, in order that Christ might take His rightful place in our hearts. The daily decision to empty thyself unto the Holy Ghost, that He might fill you up.

Will I direct my prayer unto thee - In the Hebrew this means to set in order, to place in a row, to put in order, to arrange. Much like placing the wood upon the altar or to arrange the showbread on the table before God in the Holy Temple. Here, the prayers of the Psalmist are likened unto the morning sacrifice. With great care and diligence, every detail of the morning sacrifice was arranged and performed with great regard before the Lord, Jehovah, the self-existent, all-sufficient God.  These sacrifices would be made with serious and solemn attention to the duties involved,  as it was an act of worship to a Holy God. Being of this same mind, we should never offer our prayer is haste, with rash words. We should not negligently speak, as if we speak to mere man. Instead, our prayers should be  "engage the profound thought of the soul"(Barnes). It is that idea that we sacrifice time and energy, with great piety, in order that our time spent before the Holy of Holies is honoring to the Lord, not in vain. The sacrificing of sleep, of self-service, of time dedicated to self, in order that we might enter into the very presence of God and be heard.

And will look up- In the Hebrew this phrase means to look about, to view from a distance. It is in reference to a tower which has a wide prospect, one in which a Watchman looks about. It is the idea that, just as the Watchmen were stationed on a tower to watch, narrowly and carefully for what was coming in the distance, being friend or foe, we too should watch for the answers to our prayers. For the Divine will to intermingle with our feeble pleas.  Watch and pray (Matthew 26:41), as Jesus urged. Watch, because He will answer. Although not stated explicitly in the Hebrew, one can devise from this statement, and I will look up, that the Psalmist is confident in God answering His prayers. It is never a matter of if He will answer, rather when and how. Therefore, let us sit with confidence before the Lord. Let us leave the sacrifice at the altar with no intention of taking it back with self-will or fear. Rather, "Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord." (Psalm 27:14)

Absolute Surrender Discussion Questions CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 3

Separated Unto The Holy Ghost

1.     What is the great lesson of Acts 13:1-4?

Thought #1 (pgs. 22-23)

2.     Explain what the author meant by the following statement: Our great Commander organizes every campaign, and His generals and officers do not always know the great plans. They often receive sealed orders, and they have to wait on Him for what He gives them as orders. God had certain plans and intentions with regard to Asia, and with regard to Europe. He had conceived them; they were His and He made them known to His servants.

3.     According to the author, God has His plans clearly mapped out, and our position is to wait, that God should communicate to us as much of His will as each time is needful. What is our role as workers in carrying out this plan?

Thought #2 (pg. 23)

4.     How does God reveal His will to us? What is our role in hearing Him? (Psalm 46:10,  Psalm 37:7, Exodus 14:14)

Thought #3 (pg. 23)

5.     Describe the heart that God is desiring to manifest Himself in.

6.     What is fasting? (Matthew 6:16-18, Isaiah 58: 3-7)

Thought #4 (pgs. 24-25)

7.     What is needed that the power of God should rest upon us more mightily?

8.     What does it mean to be separated unto the Holy Spirit?

Thought #5 (pg. 25-26)

9.     What is our call to action, our job, in this blessed partnership with the Holy Spirit?

Thought #6 (pg. 27)

10. How can we be blessed by the Holy Spirit? Conversely, why have we not experienced more blessing in our relationship with the Holy Spirit?

Absolute Surrender Discussion Questions CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 2

The Fruit of the Spirit Is Love

1.    Why did God send the Holy Spirit to dwell in us?

2.    In Galatians 5:22 Paul says, The fruit of the Spirit is love. The word love is translated from the Greek word agape. Define agape.

3.    Philippians 2:2 exhorts us to Fulfill ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, [being] of one accord, of one mind. Why does the scripture call us to stand in unity, in love?

God is Love

4.    God is love. What does this mean?

Mankind Needs Love

5.    How is selfishness the opposite of love? Explain.

6.    Why was Christ’s commandment to the Disciples in John 13:34 so profound?

Love Conquers Selfishness

7.    Why do many of us lack power in our prayers and in our lives?

8.    Explain the meaning of Romans 5:5, “and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

9.    How do I learn to love?

Love Is God’s Gift

10.         Where should we first learn to bestow our love?

11.         According to the author, how do I have real and intimate fellowship with God? (1 John 4:20)

Our Love Shows God’s Power

12.         The author states, “All Christ’s teaching could not make them of one heart and one soul.” Explain this statement.  If it wasn’t Christ’s teachings that brought unity, then what was it? (Acts 2 and 4)

Love Inspires Intercession

13.         Define Intercession. How does love play a part in Intercession?

Critical Thinking Question: How does the topic of Absolute Surrender have anything to do with Galatians 5:5, The Fruit of the Spirit is Love?

Absolute Surrender Discussion Questions CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 1

1.     Explain how 1 Kings 20:1-4 is a symbol of Absolute Surrender to God. (Pg 6)

2.     According to the author, what is Absolute Surrender? What is the outcome of our Absolute Surrender to God?

God Expects Your Surrender

3.     Explain what the author means when he says God expects your surrender.

God Accomplishes Your Surrender

4.     How will the Holy Spirit work in you to accomplish your Absolute Surrender?

5.     The author asks, “Have you ever yet learned the lesson that the Holy Ghost works with mighty power, while on the human side everything appears feeble?” Explain how this thought ties into absolutely surrendering all.

God Maintains Your Surrender

6.     What hinders us from living a life of Absolute Surrender?

7.     Identify and explain the two sides of a life surrendered to God

God Blesses You When You Surrender

8.     Explain why we must empty ourselves before God.

9.     The first paragraph on page 11 says, “You may not have such a strong and clear feelings of deliverance as you would...” This paragraph explains how one lives a life of Absolute Surrender. Explain how you do this practically.

10. Explain how the story of Abraham and Isaac is an example of the sacrifice spoken of in the last paragraph of this chapter. (Read Genesis 22:1-19)

Chapter 1: Bible Verses To Reference

Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Luke 9:23

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

Galatians 5:24

And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Mark 8:35

For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it.

John 12:24

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.

Matthew 10:38

And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.

1 Corinthians 15:31

I protest, brothers, by my pride in you, which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die every day!

Romans 6:1-23

What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. ...

1 Peter 2:24

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

Romans 12:1

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

Philippians 2:1-30

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, ...

1 Peter 4:1-11

Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God. For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry. With respect to this they are surprised when you do not join them in the same flood of debauchery, and they malign you; but they will give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. ...

Luke 14:26

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.

John 15:1-27

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. ...

Colossians 1:24

Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church,

1 John 2:1-29

My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world. And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: ...

Hebrews 12:2

Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Revelation 20:4

Then I saw thrones, and seated on them were those to whom the authority to judge was committed. Also I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded for the testimony of Jesus and for the word of God, and those who had not worshiped the beast or its image and had not received its mark on their foreheads or their hands. They came to life and reigned with Christ for a thousand years.

Titus 3:5

He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,

Romans 6:3

Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?

Matthew 18:1-35

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, ...

1 Peter 2:1-25

So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good. As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. ...

Philippians 1:21

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

Ephesians 2:11-22

Therefore remember that at one time you Gentiles in the flesh, called “the uncircumcision” by what is called the circumcision, which is made in the flesh by hands— remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, ...

Hebrews 9:14

How much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without blemish to God, purify our conscience from dead works to serve the living God.

Romans 8:1-4

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

 

John 3:1-36 ESV / 1 helpful vote

Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. This man came to Jesus by night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with him.” Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born?” Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. ...